NO TO RAPE: dissecting rape and it's motives

No To RAPE

I'll be stating my opinion on this currently overwhelming issue of rape. Before you read on you should note a few points:

-my opinions may differ from yours 

-Everyone is an entity on their own and is entitled to their own opinions 

-There is no excuse for rape whatsoever 

Please be to keep this points in mind

Now let's delve into the issue

   firstly I'll like to tell a story. There is a 50% chance that the story is actually true (due to the source) but for the sake of this discussion I'll assume it's hypothetical.

The story is about a 12 year old girl, Bisola.  She lives with her parents and has an elder brother, her only sibling. Her elder brother has a very close friend who lives close to their house and is a family friend he comes to the house often and spends a lot of time there. His name is sola. Sola is used to playing with Bisola. 

One evening sola comes by the house as usual. Bisola is wearing a simple tank top and bum shorts. As he was playing with Bisola, Bisola's  top drops a bit when she leans over him to take his phone and he gets a glimpse of her breasts, his libido goes straight up and he starts to fantasize about her. 

He finds an excuse as soon as possible and leaves their house.  But sola couldn't get his thoughts off her. Two days later, Bisola calls him and tells him she is lonely and no one is home with her(her parents and brother are out). She invites him over to keep her company.  

He goes to the house, rapes her and murders her. The house has CCTV cameras so the whole act is caught on camera and Sola is arrested. When asked his reason For raping her, he says  she invited him by wearing  shorts and playing too close to him, he claims its not totally his fault. He says he had to murder her to  clean up all evidence. 

Now the  following questions are asked? 

• Is bisola at fault?
• Did Bisola actually invite him?
• Is sola to be blamed for not having control over his own libido?

Are victims at fault? 

I believe majority would say no. Rape isn't the fault of the victim. And while I agree with that answer I believe a few things are to be considered- the dressing of the victim, the place where the victim was raped and consent .

Men and boys alike need to know that a mini skirt isn't an invitation and a bum short isn't consent. When she says no It's no(nothing like she is just forming or didn't she enjoy it?) 

Another excuse males give is "why was she walking alone in the dark? " or "why was she in his room in the first place? " I agree that a girl should be cautious of her movements, and her environment. Girls shouldn't just assume "he is a friend he can't do anything to hurt me". But because she is walking in the dark isn't an excuse to have your way with her. 

While I believe bums short isn't an invitation, I also believe in decent dressing, it's been proven over and over again that's some men can't control themselves around women, so ladies let's help them by dressing well around them. A guy can go shirtless and no girl would be moved but the male anatomy isn't built like the females'.

Influence of upbringing and environment 

 The environment a child is brought up in and the kind of parent or guardians that train a child is very key to how that child is shaped and the kind of adult he or she becomes. So as a a parent, you shouldn't just educate your girl child to close her Laps in public and wear decent clothes but you should also instill respect for the female specie and decency in your male child. 

In Africa, particularly Nigeria, a girl child is thought to be decent and the male child is neglected, so it becomes a girl's fault or her parents fault (for not bringing her up well) if she gets raped.

The boy is obviously not at fault since he wasn't thought that he isn't supposed to chase everything in skirts and therefore he can't be held responsible for his actions.

Mothers tell your sons, sisters tell your brothers, ladies tell your friends. FEMALES ARENT OBJECTS, THEY ARE HUMANS!!! 

Personal decision to be good

As adults, we all have choices to make, you choose to be good or you choose to be bad. Even upbringing may not affect our choices. It's a personal decision. Even God gave us freewill.

Regardless of what you choose, you shouldn't expect everyone else to be like you. We're humans and others are allowed to choose their paths. So even if as a lady you don't support rape it doesn't mean another lady wouldn't have reasons to support it. 

Don't assume everyone would think like you and have the same ideologies.

Take a stand, be on the right side today,  don't choose bad When u have the option of being good.

Rape is an evil act

The aftereffects of rape on the victim can't be overemphasized. 

It's stays with the victim  for life. Just like a shadow, each time they glance back , the memories come back. It hurts and it's wrong!!!